was watching Angel on netflix, and in this one scene you can see a guy holding a camera!! I wonder if it was actually aired like that.
Jason Walker - Down
I shot for the sky, I’m stuck on the ground.
so why do i try, I know I’m gonna fall down.
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown.
saddest movie i’ve seen in a while. like “a walk to remember” but better made, i’m not a big fan of mandy moore.
I need more consistency in my life. I feel like there’s nothing really constant in my life, everything is always changing.. relationships, plans, thoughts, interests, routines.. It’s not that I don’t embrace change, I would just prefer it if some things would stay the same for a little while.
I hope I get all my apps by the end of March. My list of schools keep growing… My list in the order of preference:
USC - MS in pathology (CA)
NYMC - MS in pathology (NY)
University of Rochester - MS in immunology (NY)
Case Western - MS in physiology (OH)
Mt. Sinai - MS in biomedical (NY)
Tufts - MS in biomedical (MA)
Boston University - MA in biomedical (MA)
UCR - MS in biochemistry (CA)
chances are I’ll be moving to the east coast! or the midwest.. I dont really fancy the idea of living in Ohio. I heard it’s really cold there, I’m sure Sitka would enjoy it though. I mean why wouldn’t I bring my 100 lb husky with me to graduate school to live in a tiny apartment.
I’m still contemplating the idea of retaking the GRE. Everyone i’ve talked to says that I dont need to. But then why can’t i let it go? If i cant stop thinking about it, I might as well just do it, I mean it wont really hurt, unless I do worse than before.
My plans for the summer are coming together. Thank the Lord. I was getting so miserable not having anything set in stone. I was going crazy not knowing what my next steps are. I think i’ll be traveling a lot this summer, which i’m looking forward to.
now till august:
Yosemite Trip: April 2-4
PhiDE chartering: April 17th (yay!)
GRE?? : April 19th
Graduation: May 8th (I’m thinking about skipping it..havent made up my mind yet.)
EMT course: May 24-June 16
Random trip to Europe sometime in April or May
Trip to China sometime in… April or July, depending if i skip graudation..
Sammie’s Wedding: June 25-27th (road trip to Colorado!)
Ronald Mcdonald Camp: July 9-18th
August - PREPARE FOR SCHOOL! (hopefully, crossing my fingers)
I think this Yosemite trip’s going to be fun and interesting. There’s 8 of us now, a lot of girls, a lot of estrogen! It’s going to be more difficult now hiding the fact that we have 8 people staying in a 2 person cabin with 3 cars. I hope we’ll all get along, and not end up breaking up into small cliques, i hate that. I’m not a fan of awkward tension. I guess it all just depends on the people, but I can already see the possibilities in cliques. Anyways, I hope it’ll be super fun, I did a bunch of research on the different hikes we can take, I guess there’s still snow up there in some areas, and glacier point is closed, which sucks because I love the hike to taft point! I hope it’ll not be anything like the Joshua tree trip, that was a disaster.
I’m not a fan of Friday nights unless I’m doing something, or studying which is fine with me. I should blog more often, it can be the only consistent thing in my life.
hehehehe online shopping is so much fun!
Sunday, February 26, 2006
If the is a end to everything, then this would be our end. Its sometimes so hard to comprehend the meaning of our existence, that i find my mind boggling in different directions ready to explode. In chapel the other day, Jamie, our campus pastor was talking about relationships. She said that if we are in a relationships that we know we are not suppose to be in, we should find the strength to walk away. This question kept me awake at night as i was trying to sleep. I remember staring into the darkness for a long time, trying to decide wheter i am with you for the wrong reasons. What started out as the beginning of a wonderful story turned out to have such a disasterous turn. sometimes…when im dazing off into space, i think of times when i use to be really happy, and all goofy things i use to do…then it hit me thatt….i have driven into an enormous pot hole. my journey to wonderland stops here. I sit on the side of the road with a flat tiree and a broken spirit awaiting for someone to give me a helping hand.
i know it is NOT a good sign when i can look at myself and shake my head in disapproval. it is not a good sign when i feel disgusted thinking about the things i have done. when i ask the question.. how do you know when its time to let go… the most common answer is “you’ll just know.” how do i just know?? if i dont know that does it mean that its not the time? i find myself smiling at the thought of being free and happy. I am a slave to my own emotions. i must break freeeeeee, i need to.
thats how i know its the end.
“feelings are finite, and all things finite are not invincible. good.”
— a quote from an old xanga entry, december 19th, 2005
procrastinating in the library… oh yeah!
things on my mind non-related to GRE:
PhiDE winterball!
date: jan 23
location: laguna beach
status: yet to be determined…….. (more on this later)
new year resolutions:
BE BE BE more disciplined!
put more ideas into action!
try harder to stay focused! (now is not a good example of being focused)
eat less meat and eat healthier (ate so much tofu in the past 5 days)
exercise more consistently
